420 ftw
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
