There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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