Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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