neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
