I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
