I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When are your genitals available?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize