I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
