Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
