Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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