Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.