Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
