Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
