I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
