have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
