you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
