I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
