she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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