I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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