he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
