"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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