There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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