you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
