I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im holly from the hills drunk
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
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Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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