Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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