Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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