it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
