You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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