I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
