return my video game
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
