I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize