have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize