I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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