NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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