Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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