I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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