..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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