You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
