Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm like, not good at living.
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