I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Mom said you looked used
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
