I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize