If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
