Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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