ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's official drugs can't kill me
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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