I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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