I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize