Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
