I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
