I think I died a long time ago.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
