This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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