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• (206): View more from Washington

  My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"

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• (281): View more from Texas

  So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?

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  Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)

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• (516): View more from New York

  i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team

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• (805): View more from California

  my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.

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  23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know

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• (407): View more from Florida

  She even gives head with a lisp.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.

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