He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh