what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear