Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.

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  (202): Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain. http://tfl.nu/eu7i
  Replies (2) Good night (1306) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal

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  (516): the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal http://tfl.nu/ymjw
  Replies (15) Good night (1262) Bad night (3169)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"

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  (920): i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/6eew
  Replies (13) Good night (4536) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

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  (203): I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night http://tfl.nu/hkfs
  Replies (43) Good night (10305) Bad night (3212)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge

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  (203): just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge http://tfl.nu/b456
  Replies (10) Good night (1110) Bad night (6990)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.

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  (205): Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable. http://tfl.nu/h65h
  Replies (4) Good night (3612) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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  (479): When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls. http://tfl.nu/83jv
  Replies (16) Good night (6552) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.

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  (717): thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape. http://tfl.nu/7lpf
  Replies (8) Good night (3952) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.

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  (520): There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this. http://tfl.nu/ttw7
  Replies (3) Good night (1550) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.

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  (501): I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual. http://tfl.nu/m5w4
  Replies (4) Good night (1048) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.

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  (479): I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk. http://tfl.nu/vgj4
  Replies (7) Good night (1259) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.

  (360): View more from Washington

  I hate that cat.

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  (360): I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg. (360): I hate that cat. http://tfl.nu/6981
  Replies (5) Good night (626) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yup

  (936): View more from Texas

  I love us.

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  (936): Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn? (832): Yup (936): I love us. http://tfl.nu/6mn5
  Replies (2) Good night (823) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka

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  (201): I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka http://tfl.nu/upfv
  Replies (4) Good night (352) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????

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  (206): Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people???? http://tfl.nu/o1p9
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (412)

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