Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.

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  (408): i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked. http://tfl.nu/0z4b
  Replies (12) Good night (3432) Bad night (542)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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  (602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a
  Replies (44) Good night (2099) Bad night (6108)
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  (456): View more from

  im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out

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  (456): im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out http://tfl.nu/zwp7
  Replies (27) Good night (4096) Bad night (1072)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm

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  (203): too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm http://tfl.nu/fqzs
  Replies (43) Good night (1243) Bad night (4074)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Stop trying to talk to my friends!!

  (1-845): View more from New York

  then get some ugly ones...

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  (845): Stop trying to talk to my friends!! (1-845): then get some ugly ones... http://tfl.nu/5xvc
  Replies (18) Good night (6212) Bad night (1626)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated

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  (206): Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated http://tfl.nu/xvfw
  Replies (10) Good night (694) Bad night (3101)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny

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  (765): We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny http://tfl.nu/ty4j
  Replies (7) Good night (5249) Bad night (746)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.

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  (774): It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world. http://tfl.nu/7olx
  Replies (16) Good night (2695) Bad night (684)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I deem it safe for us to drink together again.

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  They dropped the charges?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Yeppers. Come drink beers.

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  (928): I deem it safe for us to drink together again. (1-928): They dropped the charges? (928): Yeppers. Come drink beers. http://tfl.nu/va29
  Replies (8) Good night (2892) Bad night (671)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety

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  (+61): On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety http://tfl.nu/7rit
  Replies (9) Good night (2670) Bad night (550)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.

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  (817): I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be. http://tfl.nu/oevd
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (910)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.

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  (716): The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us. http://tfl.nu/j1ej
  Replies (11) Good night (2624) Bad night (595)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.

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  (724): I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas. http://tfl.nu/a06u
  Replies (8) Good night (720) Bad night (775)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell

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  (201): Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell http://tfl.nu/payj
  Replies (5) Good night (2594) Bad night (370)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.

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  (401): There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying. http://tfl.nu/eu3f
  Replies (6) Good night (958) Bad night (242)

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