Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

I'd wear matching sweaters with you

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(424): I'd wear matching sweaters with you http://tfl.nu/xbhf

Replies (3) Good night (2457) Bad night (1401)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.

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(503): I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt. http://tfl.nu/ymql

Replies (17) Good night (4829) Bad night (807)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving

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(678): So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving http://tfl.nu/h9li

Replies (28) Good night (1016) Bad night (8098)
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(434): View more from Virginia

At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still

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(434): At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still http://tfl.nu/1pcd

Replies (9) Good night (1768) Bad night (3080)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.

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(901): I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism. http://tfl.nu/eczv

Replies (3) Good night (3205) Bad night (1350)
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(805): View more from California

The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.

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(805): The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery. http://tfl.nu/hbuh

Replies (7) Good night (1438) Bad night (4544)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

we already have meals planned for the weekend.

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

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(864): we already have meals planned for the weekend. (1-864): SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL. http://tfl.nu/xo3s

Replies (13) Good night (5153) Bad night (1175)
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(206): View more from Washington

thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.

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(206): thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it. http://tfl.nu/8gdu

Replies (2) Good night (2940) Bad night (856)
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(719): View more from Colorado

hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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(719): hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year. http://tfl.nu/9tpx

Replies (3) Good night (1492) Bad night (678)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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(479): Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE. http://tfl.nu/evb8

Replies (10) Good night (773) Bad night (2368)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt

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(651): I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt http://tfl.nu/h1u7

Replies (9) Good night (762) Bad night (2660)
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(940): View more from Texas

I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.

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(940): I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me. http://tfl.nu/wgik

Replies (2) Good night (1110) Bad night (558)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.

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(701): Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day. http://tfl.nu/rivr

Replies (9) Good night (1855) Bad night (489)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.

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(405): Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month. http://tfl.nu/0lcc

Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (447)
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(760): View more from California

He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.

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(760): He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative. http://tfl.nu/28jo

Replies (3) Good night (924) Bad night (388)

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