Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.

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  (248): so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right? (248): oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left. http://tfl.nu/uut9
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (1203)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.

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  (425): Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually. http://tfl.nu/jboq
  Replies (30) Good night (4275) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud

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  (301): We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud http://tfl.nu/i29s
  Replies (21) Good night (2435) Bad night (537)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?

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  (617): Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it? http://tfl.nu/1qwp
  Replies (16) Good night (806) Bad night (3182)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up

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  (647): I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up http://tfl.nu/4ijk
  Replies (10) Good night (581) Bad night (2854)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning

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  (503): i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking (1-503): I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning http://tfl.nu/mjdo
  Replies (14) Good night (4838) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.

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  (863): If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat. http://tfl.nu/9rvo
  Replies (21) Good night (985) Bad night (3696)
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  (607): View more from New York

  i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.

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  (607): i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change. http://tfl.nu/yfee
  Replies (18) Good night (4749) Bad night (861)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?

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  (443): I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch? http://tfl.nu/v0c3
  Replies (17) Good night (4525) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

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  (817): When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. http://tfl.nu/ucur
  Replies (15) Good night (5313) Bad night (1376)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.

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  (210): I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/a1h2
  Replies (8) Good night (866) Bad night (3232)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.

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  (+61): I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god. http://tfl.nu/eynz
  Replies (19) Good night (1114) Bad night (6765)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.

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  (206): Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it. http://tfl.nu/rqou
  Replies (9) Good night (1291) Bad night (3033)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.

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  (972): About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised. http://tfl.nu/d2m0
  Replies (5) Good night (1511) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.

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  (941): When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel. http://tfl.nu/2hjl
  Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (425)

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