That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.