This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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