I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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