Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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