I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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