so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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