All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
