I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
