Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
