barbara walters just said penis...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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