so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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