He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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